The blonde has been getting increasingly picky with her food over the past few months and at some points during the summer holidays, I did wonder whether I should just go back to a purely liquid diet, as it’s the only source of nutrition she actually takes any pleasure from. Well, that and fromage frais.
Time after time I’d prepare a perfectly balanced meal that her brother and sister would quietly scoff, whilst the blonde merely looked on with disdain, wondering why her siblings couldn’t see that they were being duped into eating rubbish.
The most frustrating thing, was the fact that her pickiness wasn’t even reliable. Day 1, bolognaise would be devoured. Day 2, it would be hurled across the room. The same was true of fruit. Bananas weren’t even considered for consumption for the first weeks of our trip, but then a chance encounter (when she was starving, having rejected the shepherd’s pie), meant they were very much back on the Blonde-proof menu. Well, I think we managed a fortnight before they were back on the reject pile.
We tried every trick in the book to try to convince her, but once she’s made up her mind she’s not going to eat something, that’s pretty much game over. No amount of face pulling, aeroplane noises and actions with the spoon, or the promise of a lifetime supply of Petits Filous if she’ll only try the fish pie; makes any difference. Stubborn, doesn’t begin to describe it.
My father resorted to hiding vegetables in her yoghurt pot in the hope of silently secreting them into her mouth without her realising. He did relatively well with peas one lunchtime; broccoli however, was swiftly sussed and thrown back at him with more than a hint of disgust for someone she’d previously considered an ally.
Towards the end of the holiday we cracked a new solution which we still rely on today. Whenever a plate of food is presented to either twin, they immediately both check out their sibling’s plate, just to be sure they’re not being short-changed. For reasons only they can understand, the other twin’s plate is always far more enticing, despite the fact that they’re always given exactly the same portions.
We discovered that whilst the blonde would reject her own food, if you offered her a spoon from her sister’s bowl, she would often happily oblige with an open mouth. This works really well until the brunette realises what’s going on and complains (and fair enough), that her meal has suddenly halved. So, welcome to the ridiculous scenario where the blonde eats the brunette’s food, off the brunette’s plate, with the brunette’s spoon, whilst the brunette eats the blonde’s rejected meal.
And the most bizarre thing? We carry out this ridiculous ritual as if it’s the most normal scenario on earth! I’m beginning to think that it’s not them that’s daft, it’s us!