There is a much ridiculed syndrome known as Tourette’s, which is most often associated with the seemingly spontaneous outbursts of socially inappropriate comments by sufferers. Over the past few days, I have recognised that I too am suffering from a startlingly similar affliction, and from talking to friends, believe I am not the only mother to be affected.
And what is this new syndrome?
I think the only appropriate name is ‘Mumette’s Syndrome’.
Much like Tourette’s, the exclamations flow from my mouth fast and furiously, as if my mouth and brain are no longer connected.
Driving down the lane from home to school this morning I find myself shouting, “LOOK, SHEEP!” at the children who obligingly coo and squeal at the sight of the spring lambs.
Further down the road we meet a tractor.
“Ooh, BIG RED TRACTOR”
And then when we get to the level crossing.
“WOW – TRAIN. Look at the red lights flashing.”
All of which, you could safely put down to normal, child-friendly conversation of a morning. And it would be, if I were, in fact, in control of these exclamations. But I’m not.
Three days a week I have the luxury of three children in full-time care from 9am to 3pm, which leaves me free to catch up with all the jobs I need to do, but never get around to actually achieving while the small people are in my care.
I often find myself alone in the car, yet still compulsively shouting out my sightings to an absent audience.
“DAISIES IN THE FIELD!!”
“SEE THE BIG BLACK DOG”
Now, as I catch sight of other single adults driving in the opposite direction, I am confident I know what they are muttering…
WOMEN: “Look, it’s another Mumette’s sufferer”.
MEN: “Look, another crazy mother shouting to herself”.
Shall we try to form a support group?