Yes, they're twins. Both of them!

Everyday experiences with twins. The ups, downs and downright unexpected.

Having It All May 27, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — twinsmummy @ 2:04 pm
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I’m having a bit of a dilemma. Having convinced myself 6 months ago that I absolutely had to go back to work at least part-time, before I went truly insane; I’m now not entirely sure that working is all it’s cracked up to be.

Don’t get me wrong, there are bits of it that I love. I enjoy meeting clients, and helping them work out what they could be doing better, and proposing ways to achieve this elusive greatness.

I love making pitches and trying to win new business, and most of all, I like putting my brain into gear and thinking of more challenging issues than what to cook the troops for tea tonight, and is the numeracy passport test tomorrow or Monday?

I like putting on a dress, and heels, and make up; and feeling like a professional, grown up as opposed to a slightly frazzled mummy who wears eau de vomit and practical, washable casuals that are routinely dribbled, vomited and cried on.

However, I’d forgotten about the pain of office politics, the pettiness, and the process of adjusting to an established office environment where the inmates thought they were doing just fine without me.

I actually don’t want to be great friends with any of them. I want to do a good job and then go back home to the people who really matter. I like to be pleasant and friendly, whilst definitely keeping my colleagues at arm’s length. I sense this approach doesn’t do me any favours.

On the upside though it’s lovely to be earning my own money again, and to be able to treat myself to the odd purchase here and there without feeling guilty for raiding the family coffers.

And I can’t for a moment claim that my working has disadvantaged the troops in any way whatsoever. The big brother is none the wiser as I only work during school hours. And the twins seem to absolutely adore nursery. They can’t wait to get there each morning, and on the days that they’re due to be at home, they routinely pop on their shoes after breakfast and ask to be taken to see Miss Louisa.

So actually, the only issue here is me. And in theory, I have the perfect situation. I’m a working mummy having it all.

I’m just not entirely sure I want it anymore.

Maybe it’s time for a career change?


Showing Kindness to Others May 20, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — twinsmummy @ 2:07 pm
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Every fortnight, we receive an email update from nursery on the ‘topics’ of the week.

There is normally a letter and number of the week, and a theme. Last week was ‘growing things’ which was brilliant. The girls arrived home with beansprouts in plastic cups that they had planted, and talked at length about their experience of digging for potatoes.

I explained to them their practice session will come in extremely handy when we’re back in the UK and twinsdaddy has them out in the garden in all-weather, doing it for real. They just giggled. Little do they know!

So this week the focus has been on ‘Showing Kindness to Others’. I’d hoped this might cover things such as, not pulling your sister’s hair out in large clumps, just because she’s got the red shopping trolley. Or maybe, biting is not an acceptable negotiation tactic.

I’ve tried asking what they’ve learnt, but they’ve been unusually coy. However, all has now become clear.

On our nursery-free morning, we enjoyed play dough and Maisy jigsaws before deciding it was time for a snack. I duly chopped banana and headed towards the dining table.

“Snack on stairs?” came the chorus from below.

I tried explaining it was less messy if we ate at the table, but they were having none of it.

It’s been a long week so I duly agreed on the proviso that we all sat on the step and didn’t move until the banana was finished.

So we sat on the steps and within seconds, the first slice of banana had predictably leapt out of the brunette’s bowl onto the step below.

“Don’t worry, you’re ok”, she said as she reached down for the banana.

And then, “I kiss it better”, as she bent over to kiss the injured banana slice.

And finally, before popping it in her mouth. “Don’t worry, I got you” and a little stroke.

It’s nice to know they’ve got it in them. We now just need to work on applying our new learning to humans rather than fruit!


Look I’m Naked May 16, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — twinsmummy @ 8:48 am
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Picture the scene. It’s the start of the weekend. The alarm clocks have been turned off. There is no school run, nursery run or work commute to consider.

I wake up at around 7.15am. All is quiet. The big brother is no doubt reading in his bedroom having twisted twinsdaddy’s arm into buying a new Horrid Henry book at the school book fair earlier in the week.

Across the landing, there is the distant murmur of the twins talking to each other and the occasional giggle.

I turn over, and without actually speaking, twinsdaddy and I agree that we’ve got at least another 15 minutes in bed before we have to attend to the troops.

As I lie there thinking how fabulous weekend morning’s are, and how they should be far more frequent, the voices from the girls’ room start to become louder and louder.

They still sound happy. There are little shrieks and more giggles to be heard. I’m just beginning to think that they are really rather sweet when the brunette’s voice shouts out.

“Look, I’m naked!”

Twinsdaddy and I leap out of bed and sprint across the landing.

We’ve been through the nappy pulling-off routine before, and believe me, it wasn’t pleasant.

We fling open the door to the nursery and are greeted with two desperately excited little faces.  And two definitely naked little bottoms.

“Where have your pyjamas and nappies gone?”, I ask.

“Took off!”, is the reply.

Well…. ask a silly question.


I do still exist… honest May 12, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — twinsmummy @ 7:37 pm
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I know it’s been a bit quiet for a week or so, and it’s time for an explanation. I’ve been away… again.

I’m almost embarrassed to admit it, having only just got over the sheer amazement of having a week away from all parental responsibilities whilst I was in Sydney.

So the reason for this gratuitous behaviour? I blame it firmly on my good friend L. She is leaving Dubai at the end of the school year, which is frankly a horrible thought; and this trip was the first of her many “leaving do’s”.

This is the woman who used to text me at around 5pm in the early months of the twins’ existence with the prize-winning phrase, “fancy a glass of wine?”.

10 minutes later she’d turn up on her bike with a chilled bottle of Sauvignon blanc, and proceed to take charge of one twin – bath, bottle and clothe her, all the while topping up my glass with restorative alcohol. She was my lifesaver.

So I’ve spent the past 5 days, holed up in the unimaginably blissful Soneva Kiri in Thailand, with L and 6 of her closest friends enjoying great weather, fabulous food, and the odd glass of Sauvignon blanc.

Picture-perfect empty beaches, bath-water warm sea water and not forgetting, the private plane that transports you to this heavenly hideaway.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but writing wasn’t top of my list of priorities.

I promise I’ll come back down to earth shortly.


A Pair of Pixies May 4, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — twinsmummy @ 6:05 pm
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So this weekend we reached another milestone in the twins’ lives. The first haircut. I was a bit apprehensive but had to admit, they were starting to look more than a little orphan-like, and I didn’t want them getting nabbed by social services.  Appointments were duly booked and off we trotted to the very nice salon where I get my hair cut.

This being Dubai the salon is very much women-only so there was no opportunity for twinsdaddy to share in the moment. Instead I took the big brother along for moral support hoping he would help me contain the gruesome twosome and keep them away from the bottles of peroxide.

I needn’t have worried about his help. The moment we entered the salon he spotted the large bowl of mints and a quick negotiation committed me to allowing one mint on the provision that he embraced his role fully. Job done.

As we walked through the salon I started to explain to the girls what we were there for.

“No hair cut”, said the blonde.

“No hair cut”, repeated the brunette.

The child’s chair was rejected immediately so I began the delicate negotiations to try to find out what would be acceptable. We settled on the brunette sitting on my lap for the hair cut whilst the blonde counted Kirby grips on the floor.

As the scissors approached, the brunette looked absolutely horrified. Every time the lovely hairdresser Amelia combed her hair straight, she pushed it away from her face making it impossible to cut straight.

This went on for some time but then we were saved by the appearance of a large Indian lady at the basin next to us.

Both girls were intrigued. Hair washing for them is something highly traumatic that happens while naked in the bath. Yet here was a lady having her hair washed whilst fully clothed, and in a sink, backwards. Remarkable.

“Lady bath naked?”, shouted the brunette.

I ignored her and looked round at the blonde who’d emptied two entire boxes of hair grips onto the floor – at a quick estimate I’d say there were 200+ and was swishing her arms from side to side, seeing how far she could make them travel. Quite a long way as it turned out.

By the time I looked back, the brunette was gone, and in her place, a petite pixie.


Onto the blonde.

Having seen her sister survive the hair cutting ordeal, she turned out to be much more amenable than I’d anticipated. She sat (relatively) still whilst the cutting was underway and seemed fascinated by her own reflection in the mirror. Lots of raspberry blowing and grinning at the cute blonde.

Before too long, pixie number 2 was among us.

Oh help. She actually looks like a Victorian-throwback pixie which may be hard to visualise, but trust me, if you saw her, you’d understand.

As we left the salon, I wondered how best to prepare twinsdaddy for the shock of seeing the pair of pixies.

And next time we go for a haircut, I’ll make sure we wait until panto season.